the breaking point

you know i always wonder what is the defining moment of a relationship or situation? i think that all relationships have a moment that sets the tone of a persons attitude to the entire relationship. if you are lucky you will have a chance to have a relationship with someone who challenges you; someone who makes you grow. i think relationships can be equally scary and exhilarating. to know that your feelings for a person really do exists is great but to build on to that and create a life together is the greatest joy of all. sometimes though you have to let someone go because the are not ready for it all. it is too intense maybe the simplicity of a true partnership makes it seems so complicated. i am not sure though if a breaking point exists when you love unconditionally.

timing

is life just about timing? i think about timing all of the time. you know like the what if i had....moved to texas sooner would everything be the same? would i still be on the path that i am on now or would it be completely different? or even something as simple as when you losing your keys before you have to leave the house. how did that one event alter the entire course of your existence? what about when you find someone that has touched you so deeply that no one but you understands but the timing just seems wrong. what is hard is to find that person and the logical thing is to walk away because the timing is off or it is not the right person for you or one of the many reason that you can think of but no of those reasons matter because all that matters is how you feel about that person. it is one of the most bittersweet feelings in the world to love but to not have it returned. how lucky you are to know the feeling and how sad it is not to have it reciprocated.

its never that simple

so how do you know when you are being played for a fool and when someone is genuine? i think that sometimes it is not so easy to make that determination. i have to wonder if it is really that hard in life to know when someone is being real. is it just that you have to believe and you have to be hopeful? when though does that turn from hope to being naive? for me i think that i am a hopeless optimist. i would rather look at a person and see them for what they can do than what they have done in the past. i don't believe that we are martyrs to our past. i think that you must grow but during the process of growing you should try and always be true to yourself.

how blessed i am

i have so much to be grateful for in my life. i have an amazing son, a great family, and wonderful friends. the only thing that i am missing is someone special that i can share it all with. i never pictured myself as a person that would want the fairy tale but i guess i never really believed in the fairy tale before. my grandmother told me to write down what i would want in the special someone so here goes. i have to have someone who makes me laugh. there has to be a great chemistry between us. i want someone who is able to be honest with me. i want someone who can know the word that i am trying to say but can't think of it. i want someone who wants a few more kids. i want to find someone who can be excited about my dreams the same as i can be about his. i want someone who is strong but not ashamed to show that he is also weak at times. i want someone who can allow me to carry the load at times without it causing a fight. i want someone who is passionate. i don't want someone who backs down at a challenge. i basically want a partner that will love me for me. they will highlight my bright spots and overlook my faults. i want someone who want to build a life together. most of all i want someone who want to love me as much as i want to love them.

on the edge of greatness...

do you ever wonder about the moment in your life that you are standing on the cliff and you see everything crystal clear. for some it takes them time to find their purpose and other know it sooner. once though we know it alters your entire existence.

moments

life is just made of these moments. it is so easy to lose sight of these moments though. your life is not made up of these events it is made up of small moments. if we are one of the lucky ones we will know all of the greatest joys but i think because of this you will receive the lowest of lows. to be able to have some moments that define perfection then the days that fall short of just are not as hard.

love

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was. We do not possess anything in this world, least of all other people. We only imagine that we do. Our friends, our lovers, our spouses, even our children are not ours; they belong only to themselves. "Chinese proverb" articulates a powerful truth about the importance of letting go. It had a profound effect on me when I first heard it, and it has guided me in both my private and professional life ever since. I have often quoted it as an excellent model for parenthood, which is a gradual, wonderful - and sometimes painful - process of letting go. It begins with the cutting of the umbilical cord and ends when you hand over the keys of your car. They will fly the nest, but if you freely and willingly let them go then they will always come back. When you really love someone, you know true pure love that is so rare. It is so delicate that if you do not handle with the gentles touch it will not make it. To be blessed with even small moments of this; I will carry this with me always.