im trying not to cry but it is not working too well

today has been one of those days. i have so much on my mind and it feels like no one is actually listening but at the same i can't talk about it all when it is hard enough to even type it. i wear my heart on my sleeve which may not be the right thing at times. it is not that i am weak i guess i just kept it bottled up any more. i was going to go and get two new tattoos today but how the week as been going today was yet another one of those days that it all seemed to fall apart. the tattoos are going to be the words hope and faith which are the two things that i never need to lose sight of. if i don't forget i know that i will always be on the right path. there is a hollow feeling that i have not been able to shake lately and today’s events have just added to it. i am happy but i feel very alone. it really doesn’t make sense because i have an amazing family. i have kelli, jason, and crystal but it just feels like i am alone and misunderstood. i wonder how many people see the real me. do they see my actions as i intended them to look or do they misinterpret them? i think that i am done trying to be nice. i think that it is easier to have a wall put up and just let it go. i think i am going to stop trying for a while. i feel like the phone needs to be shut off and live in solitude for a while.